Song Demo: “The Prophylactic Song”

This is for all the singles out there looking for true love in dating-land as well as for those who may be considering cheating on their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, or significant others. This risque´ tune is rated somewhere between PG13 and R.

WARNING! This is WAAAY too sexy for your mom or your kids.

 

 

 

The Prophylactic Song

by Scotty and the Skeptics
©1996 Skeptico Music – BMI

Well, it can be frustrating
When you’re casually dating
And it’s time to be more than friends
So you talk about disease
And your sexual histories
Before the big event

Now guys, I know you like to ride ’em
‘Cause when you satisfy ’em
It makes you feel like a man
But if you can’t make ’em sing
‘Cause you can’t feel a thing
You better have a back-up plan.

Yeah, if you can’t please your lover
‘Cause you’re strangled by a rubber
And it cuts your performance over half
Well you better quit your bitchin’
And assume the next position
If you hope to find true romance.

‘Cause guys are under pressure
To induce orgasmic pleasure
Any way we can
So if you want memories that linger
You better get good with your tongue and your finger
If you hope to have half a chance

Yeah, if you can’t please your lover
‘Cause your strangled by a rubber
You are not alone
You get your bumpin’ and your grindin’
But there’s no slippin’ and no slidin’
When you’re wearin’ that damned raincoat

And I’ve tried every kind of rubber
Different textures, different colors
With and without the nipple ends
But they all cut off my circulation
Which leads to great frustration
When it’s over before it begins

Now I know some of you ladies
Will hope I roast Hades
For singin’ out this tune
But if your guy can’t make you sing
‘Cause he can’t feel a thing
He’s tellin’ you the truth|

And guys, if you can’t please your lover
‘Cause you’re strangled by a rubber
And it cuts your performance over half
Well you better quit your bitchin’
And assume the next position
If you hope to find true romance.
If you hope to find true romance.