{"id":3469,"date":"2017-12-30T22:38:31","date_gmt":"2017-12-31T06:38:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/?page_id=3469"},"modified":"2018-07-11T11:26:46","modified_gmt":"2018-07-11T18:26:46","slug":"the-prophylactic-song","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/scotty-the-skeptics\/the-prophylactic-song\/","title":{"rendered":"The Prophylactic Song\u2013PG13"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3 class=\"style6\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-3492\" src=\"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/images.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"155\" height=\"155\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/images.jpeg 225w, https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/images-150x150.jpeg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 155px) 100vw, 155px\" \/><\/h3>\n<p class=\"style6\" style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"justify\">This is for all the singles out there in dating-land as well as for those who may be considering cheating on their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, or significant others.<\/p>\n<p class=\"style6\" style=\"text-align: center;\" align=\"justify\"><strong>WARNING! This is WAAAY too risque for your mom or your kids.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-3494 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/images-1-300x120.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"120\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/images-1-300x120.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/images-1.jpeg 355w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Here is my latest version:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1280\" height=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/B1dnU_rg5yI?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; encrypted-media\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>And here is a studio version from years ago:<\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-3469-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/The-Prophlactic-Song.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/The-Prophlactic-Song.mp3\">https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/The-Prophlactic-Song.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>The Prophylactic Song<\/strong><\/h5>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>by Scotty and the Skeptics<\/em><br \/>\n\u00a91996 Skeptico Music &#8211; BMI<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Well, it can be frustrating<br \/>\nWhen you&#8217;re casually dating<br \/>\nAnd it&#8217;s time to be more than friends<br \/>\nSo you talk about disease<br \/>\nAnd your sexual histories<br \/>\nBefore the big event<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Now guys, I know you like to ride &#8217;em<br \/>\n&#8216;Cause when you satisfy &#8217;em<br \/>\nIt makes you feel like a man<br \/>\nBut if you can&#8217;t make &#8217;em sing<br \/>\n&#8216;Cause you can&#8217;t feel a thing<br \/>\nYou better have a back-up plan.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Yeah, if you can&#8217;t please your lover<br \/>\n&#8216;Cause you&#8217;re strangled by a rubber<br \/>\nAnd it cuts your performance over half<br \/>\nWell you better quit your bitchin&#8217;<br \/>\nAnd assume the next position<br \/>\nIf you hope to find true romance.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&#8216;Cause guys are under pressure<br \/>\nTo induce orgasmic pleasure<br \/>\nAny way we can<br \/>\nSo if you want memories that linger<br \/>\nYou better get good with your tongue and your finger<br \/>\nIf you hope to have half a chance<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Yeah, if you can&#8217;t please your lover<br \/>\n&#8216;Cause your strangled by a rubber<br \/>\nYou are not alone<br \/>\nYou get your bumpin&#8217; and your grindin&#8217;<br \/>\nBut there&#8217;s no slippin&#8217; and no slidin&#8217;<br \/>\nWhen you&#8217;re wearin&#8217; that damned raincoat<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">And I&#8217;ve tried every kind of rubber<br \/>\nDifferent textures, different colors<br \/>\nWith and without the nipple ends<br \/>\nBut they all cut off my circulation<br \/>\nWhich leads to great frustration<br \/>\nWhen it&#8217;s over before it begins<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Now I know some of you ladies<br \/>\nWill hope I roast Hades<br \/>\nFor singin&#8217; out this tune<br \/>\nBut if your guy can&#8217;t make you sing<br \/>\n&#8216;Cause he can&#8217;t feel a thing<br \/>\nHe&#8217;s tellin&#8217; you the truth|<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">And guys, if you can&#8217;t please your lover<br \/>\n&#8216;Cause you&#8217;re strangled by a rubber<br \/>\nAnd it cuts your performance over half<br \/>\nWell you better quit your bitchin&#8217;<br \/>\nAnd assume the next position<br \/>\nIf you hope to find true romance.<br \/>\nIf you hope to find true romance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is for all the singles out there in dating-land as well as for those who may be considering cheating on their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, or significant others. WARNING! This is WAAAY too risque for your mom or your kids. &nbsp; Here is my latest version: &nbsp; And here is a studio version from years<br \/> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/scotty-the-skeptics\/the-prophylactic-song\/\" class=\"more-link\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":257,"menu_order":5,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["entry","author-scottadmin","post-3469","page","type-page","status-publish"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3469"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3469\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3509,"href":"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3469\/revisions\/3509"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/257"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.castaliapub.com\/williamscottmorrison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}